• Various/Onna Carr

Life--It is a Gift

Updated: May 30

Post by Onna Carr

Five years ago this morning, I almost died in a car wreck in the Rockies with my family because of a driver with road rage. Almost losing my life and more importantly, the lives of those who I cared for because of another's inability to handle their problems in a healthy way, my life was changed forever.

There are some incidents in our lives, which are crystalizing--both good and bad, and they alter the course of a life forever. That day I was saved, along with my mom and sister, but my father was lost. Memorial Day was truly a day of memorial. My father and I were not close, but no one expects to lose their father in their late 20's on what should have been a harmless vacation in the Rockies.

I would like to say that with each loss, it gets easier to heal, but for me, it doesn't work that way. But with each loss, I find that despite the grief, I am given the gift of courage to live better and to change certain parts of my life for the better.

I am reminded to live, to not just breathe in oxygen, but to go out, be brave, and to live: to take risks and to own my life and the decisions I make. So today, though a difficult one, a day of loss, is a day I remember for better things. I remember the choices the loss of my father made me decide to go for: to be a better daughter to my mom and sister to Bob and to live differently for myself and those I will meet in the future.

I also remember the good times with my dad--rolling out sugar cookies on Christmas Eve and mucking about in the garage with tools. I remember that he always told me I was capable of accomplishing whatever I set my mind to and to follow my dreams: that is what I will remember.

I also consider that my dad was seldom home, and when he was, he wasn't really there but at the office or worksite or fighting his own demons that led to the distance in his relationship with us all: that is what I will remember.

So today, instead of being sad, I am thankful. I am not thankful for the loss of my father, but I am thankful for the lessons learned and the hurdles crossed because I went through that loss. I am thankful that because of what he taught me through rolling out cookies was about presence and helped me be there for my mom after his departure and his belief in me led me to teach Bob that she was capable of all great and good things she put her mind to.

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