• Various/Onna Carr

Never Say Never: My Foray into Online Dating Part 3

Post by Onna Carr

But then, about 8 months later, this summer, I was watching a Taiwanese BL drama series, I Do Be Loved in House, and 8 weeks into the show I had an uncomfortable epiphany, and I could finally hear Bob, my good friend, and my best friend--the witness of three as it were, I do not know why it took me so long, and I had to hear it in Mandarin with English subs, but I did.

The point is I realized that this drama, though slapstick and a bit corny, was dealing with this whole issue in a way that allowed me to hear the three witnesses, so to speak. It is about two people who end up together because they realize that being there for one another is a good thing and that it is not selfish, if it is the right person. It was on episode 6, I realized that my reasons to never be in a romantic relationship ever, though totally legitimate and being done to try to be unselfish and to not possibly inconvenience someone, could be a terrible decision.

Because if I am not there for someone, and I was supposed to be there for them, and were supposed to be THERE for our family and that would be TERRIBLE and VERY selfish, driven by the fear of "what if" instead of "what is" and "could be," if that makes sense. I do not know why this revelation had to come while watching a BL drama from Taiwan, but that tire swing scene made me think. We all have our odd moments of epiphany.

So although I agree with Mayim Balik on why online dating is in general bad for us, I did create a profile on a couple of sites, such as Elitesingles.com and Match.com just to make sure I do not have any regrets on "not being there for someone." In the next few posts, I will describe the journey thus far, what I have learned, and how the experience, for good or bad, has been interesting.

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