• Various/Onna Carr

Never Say Never: My Foray into Online Dating Part 1

Updated: Oct 29

Post by Onna Carr

Dating/romantically-inclined relationships are something I have avoided for my whole life. I was busy with family responsibilities until I was in my early 30's. Because of these responsibilities, I had little inclination in the romance department and did not date or have a boyfriend. I knew that I could not give up my responsibilities for the care required in a romantic relationship, and therefore, decided that was not for me at that time.

I always figured that when I was in my 30s and/or no longer needed to assist with family matters, I would start working full-time rather than part-time, get settled into my career, make sure that Bob was settled into her life, and then would look into having an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages seem strange to most people in the Western Culture, but to me, they make a lot of sense because they involve practicality and family incorporation in the process. Both parties know that the other person involved is serious in the relationship, and the family often is supportive in the process as well. Also, a lot of information, such as political, religious, and life goals are already known before introductions are made, which eliminates a lot of guesswork.

But then 30 came and went, and sometimes life does not work out the way you think it will. I had my official Quarter Life Crisis, which I was not planning on, and once the dust settled, I decided after asthma arrived and losing 8 years of my memories that may or may not return all that could be too much for my Other Half. Plus, though I get the practical pull of an arranged marriage, I realized as I stepped nearer to having my own, that I could not marry for the sake of marrying alone, so oy veh there went that plan.

So I decided that I would just be a monk-ette, deciding I would never date, as I could not date someone I would not consider being with in a more long-term relationship. I closed that door, threw myself into my work, encouraged Bob, and moved forward with the other parts of my life.

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