• Various/Onna Carr

Spanking and What it Did and Did not Teach Me

Updated: 5 days ago

Post by Onna Carr

When I was a child, my parents believed that spanking helped to reinforce good behavior and to punish bad behavior. They would spank with a hand, wooden spoon, thin dowel rod, or a leather belt and I was also, on occasion, disciplined via a slap across the face/head, which though not spanking, is in a similar vein and left me with neurological deafness.

I can say that I remember only being punished on rare occasions, and the only thing I really got from being physically disciplined was the firm belief that it was a degrading act for both parties that only helped solidify shame and made me work hard to avoid it rather than instill improvement based on moral virtue. The action also made me realize that parents can physically hit as well as hug their children, and this helped to erode my trust in their care as well as their overall judgement.

I have come to realize that my parents were doing what their parents did before them, which they hated as children as well but thought somehow, that with their own kids they must repeat the cycle. Also, it was the behavior that was purported as "the right thing" and was the status quo where I grew up.

I am not a fan of spanking or any type of physical discipline for any age. I do not think it helps to reinforce good behavior except for the fact that it instills fear and in so doing, may stop a person from certain actions, but it does not fix the morals behind bad behavior or help to create a healthy parent and child relationship. I do realize that my reasons against spanking/physical discipline are personal, but I still believe even if my past history with physical discipline were different, I would feel the same way.

In any relationship, I do not think there is any place for physical violence of any sort, especially when we are talking of children, who are vulnerable by their very nature and youth. I believe that we should raise our children with love and care to be logical and to realize that yes, we may have differing opinions and disagreements, but we can come to the table and discuss these things and think them through together, and in so doing, we all learn a thing or two and bridges are built "over troubled waters."

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